The truth is, I should be working feverishly on one of four impact articles that are due for this Summer Grad class. The problem is, I can’t seem to wrap my mind around it and focus. Before work yesterday I wrote one of three discussion posts, and after working all day (which has been stressful to say the least), I did two more. Five posts in for the week, and I’m facing 10 responses… and these 1500 word impact articles, there are 4 in total. 6000 words, at least. I need to find my balance.
Yesterday my eye was twitching, my neck was tight and I felt like I couldn’t breath deep enough. I could have cried, but instead I cleaned. Maybe I should get completely overwhelmed more often, the floorboards were very dusty. Last semester I did a fair amount of organizing, at least my procrastination has some productivity right?
When I think of life, and balance, and doing all of this work for what seems like is going to be forever, when in reality I should graduate in Spring 2019 (that sounds horrible) – I wonder – is it worth it? All these ‘balls’ in the air, juggling my time and attention, how long can I keep it up before everything falls down?
I’ve been looking at cabanas in Belize. Some days the thought of selling everything and moving to an island sounds so perfect. I can sell ice pops or something, braid hair – I’m not too bad at it, maybe we can get a property with a few yurts, and it would be like a tropical B&B except I don’t cook meals for you.
Balancing the pressures of work and school, and making sure you are enjoying time with your family, and taking care of yourself as well (I’m getting chubby again #$@!) can have you feeling like you’re spinning plates while riding a unicycle on a tight rope.
I don’t have it altogether, that is a fact. I may appear to be rocking it, but it’s more likely that I am so stubborn – I won’t let a situation get the better of me. I’m going to find my balance; analyze, compartmentalize, compromise… and likely organize more closets.
I’ll be over here, taking deep breathes… woooo saaaaaahhhh…